Yes, me too. That hashtag was metaphorically plastered across my body and mind before it existed. The number of public #MeToo testimonials doesn’t surprise me in the least. I’m confident there are still many #MeToo assaults kept secret from loved ones; I never told anyone until recently.

Back in the day, when I had my young, pretty, thin-ish moments—perhaps as soon as I had noticeable breasts, which was early in life, relatively—boys and then men leered, jeered, accosted, berated, pinched, touched, grabbed, and more. I was even felt up by a couple of mean girls, grade-school bullies publically groping to see if I had stuffed my bra. All, without permission.

Worse yet, I hadn’t been taught what to do in those situations. Well, actually, I guess I had been, except that defaulting to giddy embarrassment and nervous laughter, then spiraling into shame wasn’t the right thing to do. Not for my self-esteem. My flustered politeness, subservience really, kept the peace. Later, it kept me employed. But I was left feeling unsafe, undervalued, and disrespected. I ended up growing defensive, festering with disgust, and turning anger inward, exacerbating my already active, self-sabotaging eating disorder. Subconsciously or not, being fatter, wearing a protective cocoon of sorts, helped me hide from men’s attention.

So, yes. Great. #MeToo. Now what?

There are whiners already “tiring” of the movement. Those people, in my humble opinion, are missing the point. #MeToo should be just the beginning.

With many sexual harassers losing their jobs, some onlookers are asking questions:

“Did I do that too? When am I crossing the line?”

We should encourage that discussion and help those trying to increase their awareness take corrective action. Of course, corporations are supposed to teach “anti-sexual harassment” classes; I’ve attended many at two large employers. But I’d bet some businesses don’t do this. I never once saw it when I was a waitress or bartender (granted, this was many years ago and times are changing…finally.)

We need to make anti-sexual harassment training more broadly available.

Also, while I support educating everyone, not just the offenders, as to what constitutes sexual harassment, I have a suggestion:

How about we teach the defenders better ways to react to sexual harassment?

Sure, we should continue to train against becoming offenders—and start younger. But what about the defenders—targets and witnesses—and their ability to stand up for themselves or intervene on behalf of others?

You’ll note my use of “defender” and “target” instead of “victim.” I don’t actually have a problem with the latter; I was a victim of an older man’s lechery when I was his sixteen-year-old employee. I just wonder about promoting a paradigm shift in how we think of ourselves. Maybe we’d offset the number of offenses sooner by working the problem from both sides, correcting the offenders and teaching empowered defenses earlier.

An article in the New York Times (NYT) highlights a team of filmmakers who are working on this very issue; David Schwimmer is attached to the project. I recommend their #ThatsHarassment videos (linked in the article to YouTube and available from multiple other sources, e.g. Starz, Showtime, #ThatsHarassment Facebook page.) Of note, the NYT article takes an educational step further than the videos, providing expert commentary alongside the transcript of one video. The line-by-line guidance helps point out the subtleties and power imbalance inherent in sexual harassment. I think it’s a great start, being taught to recognized the early verbal cues that lead to worse harassment. But I also think, an expert panel discussion following each video is needed. I’m betting some people would think one or two of the videos were not solid examples of harassment. Still, I wish I could require everyone to study them, discuss them, and learn from them.

There are probably other notable efforts out there, working on what comes after #MeToo. I’ll keep my eyes open for more.

Note: I hope there’s yet another step after #ThatsHarassment, as in #ThatsRetaliation. What does a defender do when the offender retaliates? The retaliation may not be sexual in nature. It may come later, covertly disguised.