In this time of online trolls, heightened opinions, and lack of tolerance and compromise, many people hide behind screens. Sometimes, it’s to say awful things to strangers. Sometimes, it’s for protection. Maybe both.

But long before social media dominated our connection to others (if you can still call it connection,) I hid behind something else. My mask. My “I’m doing great” persona. Similar to wearing full-body armor, I hid behind a very large cocoon of obesity and smiling sarcasm. My mask showed the world what they wanted to see or what I thought others wanted to see: a successful business woman who had it all, career, house, financial independence…even if she ate too much.

But the harder I worked at the big job, the higher the number on my scale climbed. I fell into deeper depression. My mask started to crack. Instead of protecting me, it felt suffocating. And then, as I floundered, almost sinking into despair, I happened to catch a popular TED Talk, one of many I viewed before going to sleep.

As I watched and listened to Brené Brown’s first TedTalk on vulnerability over and over, she dosed me with a slow syringe of truth, an IV drip of awareness. She could have been having a one-on-one conversation with me. It seemed so simple, obvious. Maybe I was finally ready to hear it. Like her, I too felt that being vulnerable was simply excruciating. Her words seeped in, convincing me I could choose to overcome my defenses and address my underlying shame and damaged self-worth.

Up to then, I had been one of those people who’d get excited about a motivating talk—I may have even bought the wellness book being hawked by the speaker—but I’d never then actually done the work prescribed. But Dr. Brown’s video sparked me into action, into an effort to strip away the ultimate issues that created my mask in the first place.

I can’t say that it’s been easy. I’m still a work in progress. But my new path has been the most exciting, fulfilling, and challenging effort of my life. It’s still scary to be open and vulnerable, but the moments of joy and feeling freer from shame and fear have been well worth the effort. I am closer to happy than I’ve ever been as an adult.

While my path led me into therapeutic novel writing, you don’t have to become a writer (or suffer from an issue with food) to get value from stripping away your mask. Whatever your journey may be, if there’s a chance you are avoiding true intimacy and vulnerability, I encourage you to check out Brené Brown.

The sooner you shed your mask, the sooner you’ll live the life you want.